Eastern and Central Europeans still do some of these things especially in small villages where there might not be a funeral home. They used to take photos of the deceased in their coffins. More and more people are opting for cremation, especially here in Canada, which has changed some of the traditions. Something to ponder I guess.
Yes, that's interesting, Nancy, how geography and the rural/urban aspect of life influence death rituals/funerals. Have you seen the trend toward doing something with your loved one's ashes now, like incorporating it into a special piece of jewelry or an ornament? I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Thanks for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts. I appreciate it!
I love this break down. I remember reading something (I wish I had saved it) about the way people treated someone in mourning gentler, not jostling them in the street or letting them on the train first. A widow’s mourning said “be gentle with me. I’m grieving.”
When I lost my second dad, I remember wishing I had an armband or a veil or something (anything) to communicate that I should be “handled with care” so to speak. That phrase I’d read came back to me over and over again at a rough word, sarcastic comment or careless/busy person cutting me off in the grocery store. Inside my heart was screaming “Be gentle with me! I might shatter like glass!”
Beautifully said, Elicia. The way that people in mourning were treated differently in Victorian times was lovely. I hadn't heard of that before, thanks for sharing it.
And yes, I know what you mean. I didn't want to wear a sign that announced I was grieving . . . but at the same time, I kind of wished people could just know. What you said here really struck a chord: "That phrase I’d read came back to me over and over again at a rough word, sarcastic comment or careless/busy person cutting me off in the grocery store. Inside my heart was screaming 'Be gentle with me! I might shatter like glass!'"
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I'm sorry about both of your dads; how hard to go through losing a father twice.
Eastern and Central Europeans still do some of these things especially in small villages where there might not be a funeral home. They used to take photos of the deceased in their coffins. More and more people are opting for cremation, especially here in Canada, which has changed some of the traditions. Something to ponder I guess.
Yes, that's interesting, Nancy, how geography and the rural/urban aspect of life influence death rituals/funerals. Have you seen the trend toward doing something with your loved one's ashes now, like incorporating it into a special piece of jewelry or an ornament? I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Thanks for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts. I appreciate it!
I love this break down. I remember reading something (I wish I had saved it) about the way people treated someone in mourning gentler, not jostling them in the street or letting them on the train first. A widow’s mourning said “be gentle with me. I’m grieving.”
When I lost my second dad, I remember wishing I had an armband or a veil or something (anything) to communicate that I should be “handled with care” so to speak. That phrase I’d read came back to me over and over again at a rough word, sarcastic comment or careless/busy person cutting me off in the grocery store. Inside my heart was screaming “Be gentle with me! I might shatter like glass!”
Our society needs to relearn how to grieve.
Beautifully said, Elicia. The way that people in mourning were treated differently in Victorian times was lovely. I hadn't heard of that before, thanks for sharing it.
And yes, I know what you mean. I didn't want to wear a sign that announced I was grieving . . . but at the same time, I kind of wished people could just know. What you said here really struck a chord: "That phrase I’d read came back to me over and over again at a rough word, sarcastic comment or careless/busy person cutting me off in the grocery store. Inside my heart was screaming 'Be gentle with me! I might shatter like glass!'"
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I'm sorry about both of your dads; how hard to go through losing a father twice.